A Season of Wintering: Slowing Down When the Body Says Enough
“Holy mess” is the best way I can describe what I am feeling right now.
My body has been screaming at me with everything it has. The last time I felt this way was shortly after the pandemic began in 2020. At that time, I had just moved and started a new job three weeks before everything shut down. The pandemic became the tipping point for my nervous system, and once it tipped, it did not settle.
My body spoke loudly and persistently through pain in my shoulder and shoulder blade, my psoas muscle, back, chest, and digestive system. I went to multiple doctors, but the medications did not help. If anything, they added to my symptoms. It took over a year for me to learn how to decrease what my body was holding.
What eventually helped was bringing calm back into my system. Meditation, cold exposure, weekly massages, exercise, changes in my diet, service to others, and spending time with people who brought steadiness and peace into my life all played a role. I do not know if all of it was necessary, but together it worked.
What I understand now is that I had let unprocessed feelings and emotions take over my nervous system for too long. When several major life changes hit all at once, my body responded in a big way. Before March of 2020, I was working a full time high stress job, completing my master’s degree with required internship hours, studying for my licensing exam, and working a part time job. I was so focused on pushing toward the finish line that I did not notice what was quietly building inside of me.
Even after graduating in December of 2019, I did not slow down. I immediately focused on securing a new job while waiting for my counseling license. At the time, I did not understand how essential rest was for both my mind and body, despite other major life events that had tried to teach me that lesson before. My recovery forced me to slow down. While that season was incredibly difficult, I can now look back with gratitude for what it taught me.
Fast forward to today.
This past year has been heavy on my nervous system. Somewhere before 2025, I stopped doing many of the things that had supported my healing. As my mind and body began to feel healthier, good habits slowly faded away. Lesson learned. Now my body is screaming again, and that is deeply frustrating.
What I am realizing is that my body is drawing attention to emotions and experiences I have not processed from this past year, along with ongoing changes that I have simply been pushing through. One of my coping mechanisms is fighting for control in areas where I actually have none, while ignoring the areas where I do have control. Fear encourages me to stay disconnected from the things I could tend to.
Another truth that is becoming clear is that I often do not feel ready to change until things get bad enough that I am forced to. There is a quote I have shared with others for years that is often attributed to Tony Robbins. “Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.” It is easy for me to say this out loud. It is much harder for me to live it before things fall apart.
I respect that quote intellectually, but I am seeing my emotional immaturity in how often I let it become my reality. I am choosing to take it now as a gentle reminder. I do not have to wait until things get bad to make a change. My body is asking me to take care of myself again, and I want to honor that. I want to continue growing emotionally and learn to listen before my body has to scream.
This is a difficult season for me, and I know it is a difficult season for many others as well. I feel a lack of control, sadness that can feel overwhelming, anger that edges close to hate, fear of the unknown, and love that does not always feel strong enough to create movement. I find myself in a season of my own wintering and I am unsure when it will shift. Still, I welcome it.
My intention is to understand this season by listening, to share it with those willing to hear, to grow from it, and to tend gently to my emotions rather than avoid them.
Halos Counseling hosts a virtual book club that meets several times throughout the year. In January, we read Wintering by Katherine May, a book about the power of rest and retreat during difficult seasons. It spoke directly to where I am right now. Below are a few of the questions we reflected on during book club, which I am sharing because of the value I found in answering them.
Reflection Questions
Where have you been tempted to see a winter in your life as something to push through rather than tend to?
What might it look like to respond to this season with care instead of urgency?
What signals does your body or mind give you when it needs rest and how do you usually respond?
Do you treat those signals as information or as an inconvenience?
Where might you be trying to rush yourself into spring?
What could change if you allowed this season to last as long as it needs?
About the Author
Brad Vaughn, M.A., LCMHC, is a licensed clinical mental health counselor at Halos Counseling in Charlotte, North Carolina. He works with adolescents, adults, and couples, helping clients build self awareness, navigate life transitions, and develop resilience during challenging seasons.