THREADS THAT BIND US: NAMING THE PATTERNS THAT SHAPE YOUR STORY
As we move deeper into the Stuck to Free journey, we begin to recognize something powerful: the story of our lives isn’t told only in the big events, but also in the subtle patterns that repeat over time.
Sometimes it’s a familiar emotional response. Other times, it’s a role we unconsciously take on in relationships, or a cultural belief that’s quietly shaped our identity. These narrative threads, woven from personal experiences, family messages, and societal norms, have the power to either ground us or hold us back.
One way to identify these threads is by stepping back and looking at the big picture of our life chapters. What feelings, themes, or behaviors show up again and again? For example, maybe you notice a pattern of always taking care of others, but rarely asking for help. Or you see how a childhood fear of being overlooked has shown up in your career, your friendships, or even your romantic relationships.
I used to tell my family when I was a young kid, "You give me grief." At the time, I didn’t really know what grief meant, I just knew I felt frustrated or overwhelmed. That phrase stuck with me until I had the tools to name what I was truly feeling. Our language and self-awareness evolve over time, and so does our ability to trace the emotional threads running through our lives.
Beyond the personal, there are also cultural imprints to consider. Where we grew up, the messages we received about success, emotions, gender, or family all shape how we view ourselves and others. I still remember a trip to New Jersey with one of my sisters and a college roommate. My college roommate was raised in the South, and she waved to everyone we passed. No one waved back. We laughed, but it was a reminder that even simple social norms can highlight cultural differences and the expectations that come with them.
And then there are the inherited family narratives. "In this family, we don’t talk about feelings." Or, "Family comes first, no matter what." These beliefs, even when well-intended, can become limiting if we’re not careful. I’ve seen clients begin to rewrite these stories in ways that honor their roots but also give them freedom to grow.
So what patterns show up in your story? What messages were passed down to you that you’re ready to examine? Which threads still serve you and which ones might be holding you in place?
This process takes time. It takes honesty and grace. But the more aware you become of the threads you’re weaving, the more empowered you’ll be to create a story that feels aligned with who you really are.
Want more guidance on this process? My full course, Stuck to Free, helps you dig into these layers and build a life rooted in clarity, freedom, and personal truth. Sign up to be the first to know when enrollment opens.
About the Author
Sarah Currie, Ph.D., LCMHC, is a licensed clinical mental health counselor. She’s passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families grow in self-awareness and emotional resilience. In addition to her therapy work, Sarah creates practical, insightful courses that guide people toward meaningful personal growth and freedom. Learn more at haloscounseling.com.