The Space Between Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming
There’s a space in growth that doesn’t get talked about very often. It’s the space in between. It’s the part where you’re not who you used to be, but you’re not fully who you’re becoming yet.
When I think about it, it reminds me of learning to walk or ride a bike. At first, you can take a few steps. Maybe you make it a few yards. Then you fall or hit a bump. But over time, something starts to shift. You begin to gain momentum, even if you’re not fully steady yet.
That’s what this space can feel like. There’s intention. You’re trying something new. Thinking differently. Making decisions that don’t look like your old patterns. But you’re not all the way there yet.
Emotionally, it can show up in different ways. Some people feel quieter. Some become more vocal. There can be more awareness, more emotional agility, or sometimes just a sense that things feel different.
Behaviorally, choices begin to shift. You might start moving away from habits that no longer serve you. You may distance yourself from relationships that don’t fit in the same way. You begin making room for something better, even if you can’t fully define it yet.
And even when the change is good, it can still feel unsettling. Change requires something different from you. It asks you to take action in a new direction. And while you may believe it’s for the better, the risk of stepping into it is real. You’re leaving something behind. Sometimes it’s a role you’ve carried for years. Sometimes it’s an expectation you had of yourself or one others placed on you. Sometimes it’s a relationship that needed to be pruned to allow space for growth.
At the same time, what you’re moving toward hasn’t fully formed yet. And that’s what makes this space feel strange. You are changing. You are pushing forward. You are letting go. And all of that shifts your internal system. There’s less certainty. Less control. And as humans, we tend to want knowing. We want clarity. We want to feel grounded.
This space doesn’t always offer that. Relationships can feel different here too. There can be a quiet distance at times. You’re aware of your own change, but others may not see it yet. Or they may sense something is different without fully understanding what it is. The connection hasn’t necessarily been lost, but it may not feel as familiar as it once did.
In this space, people often ask themselves questions they don’t always say out loud.
Can I do this?
Will people accept me like this?
What will this change?
These questions are part of the process.
Because the in-between is not a place of failure. It’s a place of formation. But there’s also a question worth considering.
Does the space between sometimes become a place to hide before you fully emerge?
It’s where momentum begins, even if it’s uneven. It’s where new patterns are being created. It’s where you are learning how to live in a way that is more aligned with who you are becoming. It may not feel steady yet. But that doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward. Keep going.
If this reflection resonates and you would like support navigating change, identity, or life transitions, reach out to Halos Counseling. We would be honored to walk alongside you.
About the Author
Sarah Currie, PhD, LCMHC, is a therapist who works with individuals and families to better understand themselves, navigate change, and build healthier, more meaningful connections.